SNARFALOPHAGUS MYRTIMUSM MAXIMUS

My photo
Lost Angeles, CA, United States
Omnipotent master of chaos, student of life, purveyor of shenanigans and your best friend...

Friday, December 5, 2008

NOT MEANT FOR ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL!

INTRODUCTION
Good day humans and welcome to my first official blog posting! I never thought I'd hit nerd-bot status but I've finally hit the bottom of the barrel thanks to some inspiration from a very weird and creepy character (HINT: he thinks he's Hawaiian and looks like a Ben Stiller/Vampire love child). You can scope his degenerate outlook on life at SurfAmbassadorHendo.blogspot.com. This blog is basically a physical manifestation of my warped mind. In essence, welcome to Jon Malkovich's head on crack. However, please bare in mind that these thoughts do not represent who I am or how I view life, but rather serve as a platform for me to discuss the intriguing occurrences that I've witnessed in the world around me. So with out further adieu, it is suffice to say that THIS BLOG IS NOT MEANT FOR ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL! OK? Now who brought the smoking monkey?!?!

DISCLAIMER
Now that you all know where I'm coming from, it is now time for the general disclaimer:

Reading this blog may lead to hysterical crying, laughing, dancing, drug use, status upgrades, omnipotence, projectile vomiting, libido boost, more money, random unintentional boners, suicidal tendencies, sporadic diarrhea, rectal itching, bigger boobs, shneek attacks, kookmyers, butt snakes, meow snarfs, relentless hogging, irregular masturbation, headless birds, syphilis, herpes simplex 1 & 2, amazonian take downs, erratic myrt slaying, pipe dreams, floater tweaks, 360 airs, shralping, frothing, foaming & doming. Sir Snarf McMeowskers assumes no responsibility for anything that happens to some pansy as a result of indulging in my awesomeness that is represented by this blog. So please read responsibly... and if you wear Crocs don't bother to read on at your own risk...


TOPICS
Congratulations on passing your first ocular disturbance test and making the right decision... freedom of perversion is a beautiful thing in an ugly world. Now, after having agreed, it is vitally important that you know what topics this blog will be covering. Since this is my blog, we will be discussing what matters to me and what i find interesting. These topics that we will be discussing are an approximation of the world I live in and the things that I do. This approximation is comprised of myself, surfing, art, music, film, sports and urbanity.That being said, here is a rough list of what my key subjects of discussion will revolving around

surfing, photography, cinematography, nature, urban living, modern society, sea monkeys, lomography, the film industry, film making, soccer, architecture, quantum physics, technology, history, pre-Colombian modalities, travel fashion, art, music, partying and the media. Oh wait! And also Thundercats, Teletubbies, ham sandwiches (no mayo 0r pickles) and smoking monkeys.


CLOSING STATEMENT
In closing, prepare yourselves for a wild ride folks because Mr. Toad is driving and there are no shoulders on this one way highway to hell. I would also like to encourage everyone to check out me best mate Sir Hendo's blog at http://www.surfambassadorhendo.blogspot.com/. Many thanks go out to him for inadvertently starting me down this path to blogdom even though he doesn't know it yet. In addition, it would behoove everyone to start Meow Snarfing your way through life... literally! It will get you into fights, get you laid, paid, slapped and made from New York to Ding Dang and back. But, in the end you will become a much wiser individual for it.

Stay tuned for next week when I divulge myself, leak some new photos and clips from my new projects as well as provide you with a play-by-play of my soon to be antics from this weekend.

Seriously though, has anyone seen my pet blind wolverine or my screeching weasel? Goddamn marmots! FAK!